Poem - (nxty)

(nxty) is a poem about mental illness that was published as part of the collection Madder Than We Look that was created to raise awareness of issues around mental illness, self-harm, and suicide and to raise money for mental health charities.

(nxty)

 Anxiety

is an ineffective word
          the vowels are str e tch e d
and despite having
        (far) too few syllables
it just takes
            (far) too long
                                    to say 

it should be the sound
of falling
              down
                      stairs
the word should have
                               finger tapping syllables
plosive speeding out
                              like screeching tyres
            twisting and skidding
(all sibilant fricative) 

at the speed of sound
                                  and sounding
like the clatter of tin cans
                                         collecting rainwater
                                                            (falling)
in short staccato bursts
            never kind enough to storm
   but simply hint and
                                  drip
                                         spitting in non-deliberate
            yet increasingly insistent
bits and pieces
                                         it should be out
            (between
               your
               lips)
in the space of time
                           it takes to think
but you should be conditioned
               to say the word(word)
a dozen times before it’s finished
          it’s an interesting experience
isn't it
         isn't it         isn't it
                  isn't it — 

depression,
                                                            on the other hand,
                                                is a more effective
                   definition
than it should be
                         allowed
                                                            to ever be.